Its amazing how much easier life is once you admit some truths
First off, let me state that im procrastinating doing my Civ essay. Its a summary of Keppler, which a monkey can do (assuming he can interprete the paper), and its darn boring.
But well, its true. Once you admit stuff to yourself, you get the chance to work with/around/through them. It is no longer an intangible object, but something that you can get a hold of, something which you could play around with. Change it if you so desire.
I guess, the hard part, at least for me, is making the consious decision to admit these truths. And I tend to not like it when they are shoved in my face, either by myself, or a kind soul. Before this becomes too meta, let me consider what truths I have admitted recently (and don't expect any ground breaking revealations. It's me after all)
1. I'm a terrible procrastinator. I've facebooked, youtubed, freecelled, etc. all in the process of writing my essay. Not to mention make trips to the kitchen, to the bathroom, to my bed, etc.
2. Things in the past shouldn't matter (too much). Well yes they shape what you have become, but they should never be a liability. Besides, if you say that you have moved past it, then jolly well kick your butt along.
3. I lie way too well. This in part, has to do with being asian. It is also a revealation of my innately mischevious nature. Besides, part of life is pretending to be certain of some doubts. Like how annoucing that GDP has increased in the past quarter would boost the stock market (postulated to be independent of the actual sign in the change)
4. I accord myself too much credit. But then again, if i don't, who would? Besides, sometimes I'm but a small cog in the greater wheel of events. Small, but important, no doubt. As such, I will attempt to (less) dismiss praise, and (less) value self-praise. Whatever that means.
5. People can change much in a month. Well, this is in response to a statement i made to a friend, that pple dont change much over a year. However, I will qualify that there is an unchanging core to people, so that no matter what the situation, there's gonna be a behaviour that i'd call 'Calvinist'.
6. I must learn to better read the signs i leave myself. No, not that i have terrible handwriting, but in the way that my body/mind instintively react in certain situations. I have a good gut, and should make more use of it, instead of just sitting/speculating/stewing. Besides, stewing only produces a thick congealed piece of inedible crap, as evidenced by my pathetic attempts.
7. In a related note, I have to make decisions about the future, instead of postponing them to the future. Perhaps get out of my safety zone, venture out into the unknown. (Then again, a boring life is a good life. Except when an interesting life is great and fun.) And yet, I say this, knowing nothing has changed in the past years, and nothing (likely) will.
8. It's amazing how we are all so different. And yet, all so alike. If i have any writing talent (which clearly I don't) I would love to write a book along this lines. For now, it would suffice to read such a book.
Alright, I'm feeling too exposed. Best to stop now before this entry doesn't get posted.
Of course, the wisdom of my years (as indicated by my white hair) is not limited to the above points.
But well, its true. Once you admit stuff to yourself, you get the chance to work with/around/through them. It is no longer an intangible object, but something that you can get a hold of, something which you could play around with. Change it if you so desire.
I guess, the hard part, at least for me, is making the consious decision to admit these truths. And I tend to not like it when they are shoved in my face, either by myself, or a kind soul. Before this becomes too meta, let me consider what truths I have admitted recently (and don't expect any ground breaking revealations. It's me after all)
1. I'm a terrible procrastinator. I've facebooked, youtubed, freecelled, etc. all in the process of writing my essay. Not to mention make trips to the kitchen, to the bathroom, to my bed, etc.
2. Things in the past shouldn't matter (too much). Well yes they shape what you have become, but they should never be a liability. Besides, if you say that you have moved past it, then jolly well kick your butt along.
3. I lie way too well. This in part, has to do with being asian. It is also a revealation of my innately mischevious nature. Besides, part of life is pretending to be certain of some doubts. Like how annoucing that GDP has increased in the past quarter would boost the stock market (postulated to be independent of the actual sign in the change)
4. I accord myself too much credit. But then again, if i don't, who would? Besides, sometimes I'm but a small cog in the greater wheel of events. Small, but important, no doubt. As such, I will attempt to (less) dismiss praise, and (less) value self-praise. Whatever that means.
5. People can change much in a month. Well, this is in response to a statement i made to a friend, that pple dont change much over a year. However, I will qualify that there is an unchanging core to people, so that no matter what the situation, there's gonna be a behaviour that i'd call 'Calvinist'.
6. I must learn to better read the signs i leave myself. No, not that i have terrible handwriting, but in the way that my body/mind instintively react in certain situations. I have a good gut, and should make more use of it, instead of just sitting/speculating/stewing. Besides, stewing only produces a thick congealed piece of inedible crap, as evidenced by my pathetic attempts.
7. In a related note, I have to make decisions about the future, instead of postponing them to the future. Perhaps get out of my safety zone, venture out into the unknown. (Then again, a boring life is a good life. Except when an interesting life is great and fun.) And yet, I say this, knowing nothing has changed in the past years, and nothing (likely) will.
8. It's amazing how we are all so different. And yet, all so alike. If i have any writing talent (which clearly I don't) I would love to write a book along this lines. For now, it would suffice to read such a book.
Alright, I'm feeling too exposed. Best to stop now before this entry doesn't get posted.
Of course, the wisdom of my years (as indicated by my white hair) is not limited to the above points.
posted by calvinlinzw at
1:14 AM
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