tots, many tots
Hmz, so once again, im surprised by who has dropped by and said harlow. hi pot! There are quite a few thoughts in my head right now, and i should start placing them down somewhere. I'm also considering shifting blog to allow for private entries, cos since this blog is for private thoughts, some of them are not meant for the general public. Oh yes, my space bar has gone whacky on me, so sometimes the words are not properly separted, and i dont give a damn.
The recent meaningful conversations have revolved around friendships, relationships, maths, interests, growing up, etc.
Friendships - How do they actually develop? First impressions are definately important. But also, sometimes you get a sense of someone, and know that they will make a good friend. Sometimes, they pass you by, sometimes you have to wait awhile for the right conditions for the friendship to develop. This seems to be based on intuition / what you consider are important to you. There are some basic things that i look out for, things like puntuality, considerateness, maturity, thinking, intensity, etc. Theres a blog on the right, of a friend whom i haven't really taked to since sec 2. But even then, I was extremely impressed with his level of maturity. And the views and opinions that he holds, echo mine to a large extent. Which makes reading of his blog that much more pleasant, cos he expresses certain thoughts that i'm having too. Too bad we haven't been in contact at all, and now i just puruse his blog, and im dont know if he knows that.
What saddens me, is how friendships can just die out. Coming over to chicago, there are alot of people from sg that i've lost contact with. Last year, at least we maintained minimal contact via email, msn, etc. It appears now that things are at a standstill. This is quite saddening. Army, JC, SIMO, Sec sch... As our paths diverge, its so much harder to keep in contact, unless you're in close physical contact, but sometimes not even then.
Which makes things even sadder, cos there are friends in chicago that i've lost already, for a variety of reasons. Well technically, ones an accquantance, one was a friend, one was a close friend. And though i know why things went the way the did, i can't do anything about it. I guess, we have just met at the wrong times. Thinking styles were too different, Maturity levels, Opinions, Willingess to open up. It pains me to think about it, but i have to move on.
Relationships - Interestingly, this topic has come up with a varirty of people, and only recently. To sum up, I was at chinatown for lunch on friday, and the topic of what made a suitable partner (naturally) came up. T was saying that she was looking for a someone who could 1. play an interesting musical instrument 2. Shower and change everyday 3. not eat alot. A was saying that she wanted 1 someone she could converse with 2. someone she could share thoughts / spend time with. [Note: Not their exact words, but you get my point]. Then i pointed out that their criteria were so different, one was looking for basic requirements to be fulfilled, the other was setting standards that had to be met (Yea, the words do not really tell what i mean, PTAI). I think i know what my criteria is, there are a variety that has to be met, but most importantly, they have to understand me, know me, interest me. And I, them.
Maths - Theres a difference between working hard, and working smart. I've been doing too much of the former, and not enough of the latter, and its beginning to show. Linkages are not former, nor are concepts and ideas well-defined. That could sustain me as i went through JC, but not as i go further in math. In a sense, this has plagued me for quite a while, and has reared its head even in SIMO. Its not too late to deal with this, but its going to be very time consuming, learning another way to think. Esp when no one knows how to express this way of thinking, this way of learning. I must, like a child, learn how to connect the dots in his colouring book, to form a nicer picture. While i can't take the easy way out, i have to take it easy. [Copied: The easy way robs you of that opportunity, that chance to learn something. The easy way is less painful, less probing, but it is also less enriching.]
Interests - Thats what i look out for, people with passion in what they do, cos they are the ones that can inspire, that can validate their existance. To a certain extent, everyone has their own interest, it just takes you time to see them. But still, i 'judge' their interests, and that could influence my interactions with them. Which saddens me, cos im losing my interest. Struggling. Flailing about. UGH. This shall not be further developed
Growing up - I think people grow up in spurts and spurts. Yes, there might be that gradual continuous process, but when puberty hits, thats when you get your major growth spurt. Thats when all the conditions are right - hormones, enviroment, nuturing, relationships, etc. And if you're lucky enough like Kin Foong, you get another growth spurt in JC. Life's like that. It continually throws lessons into your way, and you have to learn from them. Somethings have to be learnt through OWN experience, some things are sufficient for you to view from experiences of others. I would say that i'm going through another growth spurt right now. The growing pains in mine bones are painful, but are necessary for me to stand up tall later on in life (yea yea, i know im tall enough)
And yes, i think this is long enough for now.
The recent meaningful conversations have revolved around friendships, relationships, maths, interests, growing up, etc.
Friendships - How do they actually develop? First impressions are definately important. But also, sometimes you get a sense of someone, and know that they will make a good friend. Sometimes, they pass you by, sometimes you have to wait awhile for the right conditions for the friendship to develop. This seems to be based on intuition / what you consider are important to you. There are some basic things that i look out for, things like puntuality, considerateness, maturity, thinking, intensity, etc. Theres a blog on the right, of a friend whom i haven't really taked to since sec 2. But even then, I was extremely impressed with his level of maturity. And the views and opinions that he holds, echo mine to a large extent. Which makes reading of his blog that much more pleasant, cos he expresses certain thoughts that i'm having too. Too bad we haven't been in contact at all, and now i just puruse his blog, and im dont know if he knows that.
What saddens me, is how friendships can just die out. Coming over to chicago, there are alot of people from sg that i've lost contact with. Last year, at least we maintained minimal contact via email, msn, etc. It appears now that things are at a standstill. This is quite saddening. Army, JC, SIMO, Sec sch... As our paths diverge, its so much harder to keep in contact, unless you're in close physical contact, but sometimes not even then.
Which makes things even sadder, cos there are friends in chicago that i've lost already, for a variety of reasons. Well technically, ones an accquantance, one was a friend, one was a close friend. And though i know why things went the way the did, i can't do anything about it. I guess, we have just met at the wrong times. Thinking styles were too different, Maturity levels, Opinions, Willingess to open up. It pains me to think about it, but i have to move on.
Relationships - Interestingly, this topic has come up with a varirty of people, and only recently. To sum up, I was at chinatown for lunch on friday, and the topic of what made a suitable partner (naturally) came up. T was saying that she was looking for a someone who could 1. play an interesting musical instrument 2. Shower and change everyday 3. not eat alot. A was saying that she wanted 1 someone she could converse with 2. someone she could share thoughts / spend time with. [Note: Not their exact words, but you get my point]. Then i pointed out that their criteria were so different, one was looking for basic requirements to be fulfilled, the other was setting standards that had to be met (Yea, the words do not really tell what i mean, PTAI). I think i know what my criteria is, there are a variety that has to be met, but most importantly, they have to understand me, know me, interest me. And I, them.
Maths - Theres a difference between working hard, and working smart. I've been doing too much of the former, and not enough of the latter, and its beginning to show. Linkages are not former, nor are concepts and ideas well-defined. That could sustain me as i went through JC, but not as i go further in math. In a sense, this has plagued me for quite a while, and has reared its head even in SIMO. Its not too late to deal with this, but its going to be very time consuming, learning another way to think. Esp when no one knows how to express this way of thinking, this way of learning. I must, like a child, learn how to connect the dots in his colouring book, to form a nicer picture. While i can't take the easy way out, i have to take it easy. [Copied: The easy way robs you of that opportunity, that chance to learn something. The easy way is less painful, less probing, but it is also less enriching.]
Interests - Thats what i look out for, people with passion in what they do, cos they are the ones that can inspire, that can validate their existance. To a certain extent, everyone has their own interest, it just takes you time to see them. But still, i 'judge' their interests, and that could influence my interactions with them. Which saddens me, cos im losing my interest. Struggling. Flailing about. UGH. This shall not be further developed
Growing up - I think people grow up in spurts and spurts. Yes, there might be that gradual continuous process, but when puberty hits, thats when you get your major growth spurt. Thats when all the conditions are right - hormones, enviroment, nuturing, relationships, etc. And if you're lucky enough like Kin Foong, you get another growth spurt in JC. Life's like that. It continually throws lessons into your way, and you have to learn from them. Somethings have to be learnt through OWN experience, some things are sufficient for you to view from experiences of others. I would say that i'm going through another growth spurt right now. The growing pains in mine bones are painful, but are necessary for me to stand up tall later on in life (yea yea, i know im tall enough)
And yes, i think this is long enough for now.
posted by calvinlinzw at
2:31 PM
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